Failstravaganza

Trolls discovered: 31

Inadequate skill deaths: 35

"Every time I just jump, I just die"

"Hey, I'm trying to git gud. I can only git as gud as my fingers allow though."

Takes three attempts to notice the hint.

Ender went on mod rampage and timed a lot of people out for NO REASON AT ALL. Good night, Ender!

"I thought maybe... maybe there's something in there. Boy was I right!"

"I was so comfortable that I thought that I was good!" He was not good.

"I didn't hold right good enough, apparently."

Avoided a troll!

Off to a solid start as Fail dies to first swing.

Sadistically made drones run themselves into saws.

@aaron31121 gives Fail an ally, and Fail complains that he didn't get an upgrade.

Basically gift is an ally.

Fail keeps killing @dx_over_dt's allies.

8/10 "enemies" were allies, so Fail was able to struggle out of Silver tier

Took a sip of coffee waiting for his ally to take out an enemy. Confirmed: Fail doesn't help friends.

Apparently his ally was taking too long, so he shot it in the back.

@aaron31121 is no longer allowed to play Clone Drone.

Fail not skilled enough to skip the tutorial.

Saved in the tutorial

You know it's a point-and-click adventure when you have to hatch a plan to catch your toothbrush...

"When is the tutorial?"
"But we just had a tutorial."
"We had one, yes. What about second tutorial?"

Fail can't find a pair of socks despite having 3

Fail presses spacebar aka cheater mode.

The game has ... cuss words!

Fewer footstep noises than footsteps... Conspicuous

Threatened a toothbrush with fire

More spoilers in chat than during GPW2 Bowser

@chrislikespizza had to use the walkthru for the second tutorial. Clearly top-notch game design.

"Why would you want to brush your teeth with that thing?" Fail asks the hard-hitting questions.

Game characters don't know how to pronounce Elysium...

The characters are just mean to each other. Is this an episode of Suits or something?

Failed to save the sock.

@xmariedetx is a SAWA virgin no more.

"Arugh! We don't want faster wagon wheels! Whatever, we'll take it."

"Rockpaper says swim. Wharf_rat says... swim." Clicks around.

Met a kindly guide. Used him as meat shield.

@klinklangs sacrificed @dx_over_dt and @xmariedetx to survive the Civil War unscathed.

@klinklangs then stole an airstrike from some friendly campers and killed them with it.

@klinklangs was haunted by their ghosts, and ultimately joined them in the afterlife.

"Some Doctor you are [DoctaEl]. Can't even treat a small case of buffalo-smashing... " --@eldorel

"Hopefully we actually, you know, do good... with the best wagon in the game."
He did not "do good".

Bears take more than one hit from a falcon.