Failstravaganza

Cheesed level 3... blind

Fail confirmed that his success is all luck

Trusts his blind imagination over chat's directions

Mario, the Princess is in another castle

Failsbro exploded something

Can't even consistently jump one up and two right

Confirmed quitter: skipped a level

Revealed how easy it is to play blind easy: "Literally all I did was hold right and spam A and B"

Decided to eat into "a little" (i.e. 35 minutes, or more than 25% of the scheduled) Mario & Luigi time so he could find out that the Princess is in another castle

Spent first three minutes sneezing

Doesn't want to voice Yoshi

Attempted to voice Yoshi; sounded pretentious

Doesn't know what a Blargg is

Has no problem using healing items but "it's a bunch of crap, man" when enemies heal themselves

Has a natural talent for rolling 1's when leveling up

Accidentally rolled a 4

@EnderofGames thinks that Smash Melee was not a great Smash game relative to the series

First battle in, and Fail is already making excuses

Blames character balance for personal failings

@dx_over_dt got destroyed in her first match, but doesn't blame the map because, unlike Fail, she takes responsibility for her shortcomings

@Todesrolle still hung up on being called out as a camper two weeks later

Fail talks about Fight Club

Chat loves @nobletofu more than Fail

Magnanimously switched to 2v2s so more people could play and not because he was tired of losing and wanted to mooch off a teammate's skill

Fail got 3v1'd. Just as planned.

During 3v1, @dpc1437 decided to friendly fire his teammates to make things "more fair"

Despite @dx_over_dt only being killed by teammate Fail, she went out of her way to avoid hitting Fail because she is a decent human being; led team to a victory

Smash Ultimate arena usability is trash

dest, the name of @gokugeto877's smash account, wanted very much to play 1v1--to the point of requesting such a match several times--with his smash account named dest; he was supposed to play 2v2, but the last two people in @gokugeto877's--whose smash account is named dest--group dropped out, and because it was the last match, @gokugeto877, whose smash account is still dest, got his wish... due to an accidental fast fall on Fail's part, @gokuget877, whose account is named dest, won the match

Took a while to get the game capture to update. Ignored @hycutype's suggestion that Fail restart Steam for each frame.

Anti-aliasing: or anti-ell-AYE-ess-ing according to Fail

Definitely another Rita Classic™

Level 2 beaten with 360 no scope

Could not find mouse

Crashed the game

"Insert your soul to continue" but Fail had no soul to insert

The positive feedback loop for completing mundane jumping tasks wasn't engaging enough for you

Fail capitulated to 1U@iF#r's demand that he accept him as master

"Give me THE PONY LASERS!!"

Cheated by hacking the game to get pony lasers

Struggles even with pony lasers

Tried to divide by 0

Pony got happier and graphics improved

Demons replaced with butterflies

Tutorial placed after already learning the game

Kept disturbing the pretty butterflies with exclamation points on them

Was unwilling to trade soul to get out of Filthy Peasant Mode

Thinks that "really really close" is good enough

Killed Jesus

Corrupted the game so that the graphics reverted

"I think the only way to beat this game is to cheat. You have to cheat." Confirmed: Fail sets a bad example for the children

Fail slept for centuries

Had instant message conversations while streaming... so unprofessional

Was unwilling to trade soul to upgrade to 4D

Changed sides and killed ponies

Made us read

The loading screen was well-programmed and loaded very quickly

Was unwilling to trade soul for graphics

Game trolls are 11/10 S+

Damned 93 souls to eternal torment just so that he could escape

Went wayyy over the allotted 45-60 minutes... RIP half of Phoenix Wright

Ordered pizza over the phone. Confirmed: Fail has not heard of the internet

Refused to let chat choose toppings

Flat out shows us his cheating by changing what's allowed to be spawned in bronze tier

Attacked an ally spidertron5000; his treachery knows no bounds

Loses 5 drones in bronze; says "this is just a warm-up"

Was not good enough to beat bow2s in bronze

Kited enemies into saws, as he was not brave enough to fight them head on

"Celeste vs Marbles on Stream"

Village did not care about Fail

Abandoned stream for pizza

Infodump stream

Domino's called an hour after Fail ordered to tell him that an item he ordered was not available

Suddenly dinosaur! Nom'd

Has a hard time controlling one of his balls

"Getting Over It with a ball"

"Platforming without legs "

Suddenly cat thing! Nom'd

"The lava is NOT the answer"

Sacrificed so many lives just to prevent a little spider bot from getting home

Pizza break

@Todesrolle set goal to lose 110,231lbs

Struggles with minigame that @hycutype has confirmed is not actually really hard

Mia is still hottttt

RIP Mia

Fail turns down perfectly good money to avoid streaming another 12 hours

Maya is a poor substitute for her sister, Mia

April "Jiggleboobs" May is a poor substitute for Mia

Fail hit on April "Jiggleboobs" May

Fail personally attacked the character of Prosecutor Edgeworth rather than arguing the facts

April "Jiggleboobs" May took the stand

April "Jiggleboobs" May's bra gave out when she got too flustered

April "Jiggleboobs" May called Fail out for being a LAWYER

Edgeworth attempted to pervert justice but Fail is too quick

Maya thinks Edgeworth is a cool laywer

Fail tried to sway voters in his favor

All good and decent people refused to vote for pandering

Confirmed: Fail is not a good and decent person

Everything is a dick this time

A terrible thing to say while testing out a mattress: "Is this big enough for both me and Mom?"

"Everything is about dicks today, what the hell?"

Gross is not the same thing as funny, people

Fail googled "Tub Girl" on stream

@dx_over_dt didn't get to play Quiplash. It was the worst of all possible universes

"Don't count me out, there's still pity vote!"

CrashBattles didn't crash