The schedule for Sunday, December 9th, 2018:
Had troubles with the very first jump
Didn't trust chat when they said that donating $1/hr of Fail streaming would give him money enough to travel to Neptune, thereby granting him the title of "Best Beard on Neptune"
Lowered the bar for the definition of "legend" to mean "beating FF3 in 100-man Super Expert"
No longer believes in himself (and his ability to perform midairs)
Mistook Dark Pit for "Dark Paulina", presumably from Super Mario Odyssey, but who does not actually exist. All signs point to either early-onset dementia or severe far-sightedness
Somehow believes that "items" is a thing in Smash Bros
"Someone took my spot." Indicative of severe narcissism, believing that he deserves a spot in every game simply by virtue of being the "streamer".
"Let me eat somebody!" Indicative of malnourishment, probably due to insufficient supply depots. Also raises concerns regarding cannibalism.
Halfway through decided he was too good for items. Confirmed: Fail hates fun.
Under the belief that increasing his "GSP" (Global Smash Power) will give his life meaning. It won't.
Abandoned all hope that Waluigi will earn a place among the thousands of Smash Ultimate characters.
Blames controller for lack of ski-- erm, success
Sacrificed dozens of innocent souls to collect fruit
Flat out ignored the game's advice when specifically told that the advice comes from the pragmatic part of the main character
Identified "nasty stuff". Immediately touched it.
Like watching Federrer vs Nadal themselves, only entirely unimpressive
Lag: it's like slow mo, just involuntarily
Rita made up for Hand Simulator with this instant classic
Died in sector 2, just as Ender predicted
"That is one thicc 8-year-old"
'Twas at this point that insomnia's counterpart caught up with dx_over_dt, and she was forced to retire, thus depriving you all of the ever-important stream notes for the remaining games
Fail told us not to submit Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, promising to play it during the course of regular streams. This hoodwink resulted in a complete absence of Toads impersonating Christopher Walkin.