So bad that he can't even render the game properly.
Couldn't figure out where to go in the tutorial.
Told Boggles that he didn't need his help, and now he doesn't know the moves.
Tried to jump into a portrait. This isn't Mario 64, Fail.
"Prefers" to think of Banjo and Kazooie as a single entity.
Game tells Fail that bears aren't allowed in an area. Continues to be a bear in the area.
Complains there's too much dialog. Doesn't read dialog. Doesn't know what to do.
Ancient is pronounced ankh-shent now?
Make a bird carry a giant-ass bear on his back.
Died in the over world.
Got 91 notes. Left the level without getting the last 9.
Didn't kill the bull.
Doesn't know the difference between bird shit and eggs.
Perfectly straight vine "did not look climbable".
Spent a good 10 minutes "exploring" the over world when there was exactly one place he could go.
"What country are you from, Failstream?" "I am from California."
Denied a shark a lovely snack.
"I want to jump in your mouth."
Decides to call music notes "coins" for some reason.
"There are a severe lack of coins in this level." Every level has exactly 100 music notes.
For a cape god, he's remarkably bad at flying.
Couldn't fly well enough. Resorted to climbing a pole.
Assumed Jinjo's gender.
Missed stomping a giant red X at point blank range.
"I wish there was a faster way to move."
Four Five times.
Mocked a hippo for not being able to swim.
Decides not to get the notes.
Grunty called Fail dim. Fail didn't have the self respect to stand up for himself and just took it.
Got hit by a guy who dealt 2 damage. Decided to let him deal 2 more. Died.
Figured out that flying is faster than doggy paddling.
some crabs a crab just because they were mutants.
Died to others.
Let his sister's beauty get stolen by Grunty.