The schedule for Sunday, June 2nd, 2019:
Played SMM. Spent time talking about SMM2. Focus, Fail. Focus.
Admitted Koopas are hard.
"We have a somewhat of a problem here. Oh, no, we don't have a problem." He had a problem.
Tried to go up a door when there was a pipe.
Played 100-man Super Expert. Complained that level quality was low.
Killed repetitive TTS. Thank you. Thank you so, so much.
Spent an hour and 10 minutes failing to finish a 100-man run.
Says that if he plays bonus games, they'll likely be Roguelike games because "[he] want[s] to stick to the theme." Bound by arbitrary constraints. Fail has freedom but stays in his cage.
Complained that there was only one person he got to kill in a room.
"What the hell are you?!" Not accepting of other people and cultures.
Plays Enter the Gungeon. Uses a crossbow.
Ran out of crossbow bolts. All is as it should be.
Kicks his enemies while they're already down and dying.
Killed a room full of enemies and only got "two stinkin' moneys".
Dived head first into pool of acid. Laments that he lost a single heart of health.
Doesn't recognize 4-star General Blobulord when he sees. I never know how uncultured Fail was. Everyone knows Blobulord.
Blobulord killed Fail, probably for insulting him.
Had one of the best items in the game. Didn't use it. Lost to easiest boss.
Trashcannon shoots liquefied Yoshi!
Had one half heart left. Purchased a key instead of health.
This game looks sad.
This game is gross. Just blood and poop. Everywhere.
Ended a run. By dropping a bomb without noticing.
I don't think I will ever use again.
This game legitimately makes me want to vomit. I'm not even kidding.
Complained that zombies come back to life.
Chat gave good advice. Fail misinterpreted. Claims he will never listen to chat again.
Died on last boss. Now we can finally leave this game forever.
Oooh this game is so cute already!
Fail loves the whip.
Threw a rock at Kevin. Kevin retaliated. Brutally. But not unfairly. Fail died.
Attacked Kevin with a whip. Kevin retaliated. Brutally. But not unfairly. Fail died.
"I didn't mean to whip him." That's exactly what someone who didn't mean to whip him would say.
Whipped a lady and kidnapped her for no apparently reason.
Whipped her again when she tried to escape Fail's brutality.
Woman suffered from Stockholm Syndrome. Kissed Fail after being kidnapped.
And now the tutorial is over!
Bought a web gun!
"I owned myself." Who else would own you?
Bought a shotgun from Kevin. Immediately killed Kevin. "That's what he gets."
Upset that there was no damsel. He wants people to be in distress.
Sacrificed damsel on alter.
Fail convinced that the game is giving him "pity health". It isn't, but he clearly believes he needs it.
Killed a damsel. No kiss for fail.
Attacked a spider three times his own size. Confused that it killed him.
"This time I'm not going to whip you into submission." That's progress... I guess?
Would rather die than purchase mystery box.
Left a damsel behind.
I missed the first 40 minutes, but my first impression of this game is that Fail died two nights in a row.
@EnderOfGames couldn't set Fail on fire.
Ate a mushroom. Died.
You know the coffee shop barista is hitting on you when they ask, "Would you like from for ____?"
I don't understand this prompt
Quesadilla breath (safety quip)
A bad name for a holiday you make up to get out of work
Fail secured 8th place.
@dx_over_dt didn't get picked, so the games' results were nullified