Failstravaganza

Ignored Twitch's Super Amazing Wagon Adventure category, instead marking his game Retro, because "I was gonna leave it on retro since it applies to most games "

@Thunder_Fist99 saved the first crew from being "a total sausage fest".

The dinosaur wagon broken an axle.

Even with the aid of pterodactyls, Fail couldn't kill 30 quail in 20 seconds.

@Thunder_Fist99, @notsubsanta_, and @jsonic1999 made terrible decisions.

@TMan_22_, @kraytul, and @TacoPete chose the cheater wagon.

Purchased the rainbow!

@kraytul and @TacoPete chose to fight a volcano with predictable results.

Called an airstrike to take out a single rabid squirrel.

"Stupid boulders"

@alecm88's plot to kill @charlemagneroi actually worked.

@Mrdirt765 soon followed.

@alecm88 was eaten by piranhas.

@Mrdirt765 blamed Fail's game play for his untimely demise.

@Tehtiny, @unknownavailability, and @MrSamMcSamface's indecision lengthened the Civil War by several years, resulting in much loss of life.

Decided to play on Hard mode for his first time playing this game.

It turns out it was not his first time playing this game.

Turret died. It was the single greatest tragedy of 1999. Everyone around the world pressed F.

Won a toaster.

Won another toaster.

Died to Mutoid Man.

Either the game is not meant to be played for the first time on lunatic difficulty, or Fail is bad. Fail is bad.

"Well... it was a good run!" It was not a good run.

Fail has ammo that locks onto enemies. Still has trouble defeating enemies without homing ammo.

Couldn't beat lunatic difficulty. Decided normal was more his speed.

Fail doesn't care about the story. What's he going to say next? That the story in SMM isn't important?

Beat the first level without a continue. Whoopdi-freakin'-doo.

"This is a game about how long you can go without blinking. 'Cause the moment you blink, is the moment you freakin' die." Fail mistook a video game for weeping angels.

The lore in three words: "I don't know"

Fail learns that he should use bullet-erasing powers when there are lots of bullets on screen.

Journalism has never been more hardcore.

@Showsni: "Touhou jumped the shark when Reimu lost her flying turtle". Pretty sure that goes without saying.

Learned about his ability to use seasonal release. Didn't use it.

Had trouble with normal difficulty. Decided to try out lunatic again.

Fail complains that it's "impossible" to play Touhou and read chat a the same time. Basically admits he's a bad streamer.

Fail "thought he'd be awesome and just dodge through it." What would give him that idea?

This game is likely as close as Todesrolle is going to get for his AYAYA 10 hour challenge.

Claims the choppiness that ALL of chat is experiencing is in our heads.

Tutorial gun is literally a pea shooter.

Refused to pause the stream so his best mod could take a couple hour nap.

Died while eating a banana.

"I'm probably good, right?" Words Fail should never think of saying.