The schedule for Sunday, April 21st, 2019:

GameDetailsDurationTime
Super Mario Maker
Super Expert
1:027:17 pm-8:19 pm
  • First level was a one-screen puzzle with a bob-omb repeatedly hitting a spring.

  • Confirmed: "Matthew" creates the worst puzzles in all of SMM.

  • First of 6 levels took 23 lives and 25 minutes.

  • Went on "a magical skull ride to meet [his] density."

  • Died the same way five times in a row.

  • Kicked bombs backwards when obviously the solution was to kick them forward.

  • Jumped up to grab POW, then apparently thought better of it. Fell to death.

  • Yoshi survived.

  • Naked pipes.

  • Had trouble solving a simple situation in a level that wasn't even a puzzle level.

  • POW didn't kill Bowser Jr.

Smile N Slide
0:218:19 pm-8:41 pm
  • Immediately after playing SMM, says "Smile N Slide" is the first game on the list.

  • Loses points so fast.

  • Says unmodified game is "basically a kaizo game".

  • "I would like to at least beat level 1." Setting high goals.

  • Claims to be "making progress". Still loses level 1.

  • Complains about having to move in order to get somewhere.

  • Game was Fail's own suggestion, yet still having troubles with it.

  • Needed 100 points to finish level 1. Only amassed an insignificant 97.

  • Took 20 minutes on level 1.

  • Gave up on game after only one level.

Ultimate Tic Tac Toe
2
0:448:41 pm-9:25 pm
  • dx_over_dt didn't lose so much as she took pity on Fail and let him win.

  • "The game is like 100MB." The game is 3MB. Confirmed: Fail is a physicist.

  • TMan was not so magnanimous.

  • Fail completely skipped Todes when it was his turn.

  • Despite chat's fervent supplication, Fail continued to ignore Todes.

  • Someone fell right into Fail's trap.
    It was fail.

n
0:259:25 pm-9:51 pm
  • As n stands for ninja, Fail really leaned into it. The game was invisible.

  • Cheated to emulate faster reflexes by slowing game speed down to 70%.

  • "It feels weird that there's no music in this game. I'm going to turn some music on." ... But there was no music in the last game either.

  • Confused when game introduced physics and enemies.

  • Discovered death orbs!

  • Discovered homing missiles!

  • Discovered fall damage!

  • Spent an exorbitant amount of time proving to us that he discovered homing missiles. We get it, Fail.

  • By the end it was practically a Michael Bay film.

The Three Stooges
0:079:51 pm-9:58 pm
  • I don't even know how to annotate this game.

  • "I... guess I just get $400."

Achievement Creator
0:249:58 pm-10:23 pm
  • Right off the bat, FOV makes dx_over_dt sick.

  • Enters museum; knocks over all the exhibits.

  • 10,000 years from now, aliens will try to learn about long-extinct humanity, and they will find this game.

Ufouria
0:3310:23 pm-10:56 pm
  • Solid sprites for NES graphics.

  • Spike pit to left "Can I go left?" Dies.
    Chat wonders why were here.

  • Fail expects wall jumping in NES game.

  • Suddenly: a Metroidvania?

  • Death = restart from beginning. Harder than Dark Souls confirmed.

  • Says guy with shades is uncool. Confirmed: Fail is such a square.

  • If your friends have amnesia, beat them up so they remember you.

E.T.
0:1311:01 pm-11:15 pm
  • 10000 frame "time-limit"

  • Upset when man doesn't fall in pit.

  • Game from the era of when "moving" constituted a "game".

Default Dan
0:4011:15 pm-11:55 pm
  • @SarahTheRed finally got her game accepted.

  • Skipped all the coins.

  • Just kidding, he got all the coins.

  • Exploding more in this game than in n.

  • Had too much potassium.

  • Everything you know is wrong.

  • Deconstruction humor = best humor.

  • Fail did it!

  • "I think the acid is good."

Romhack Race (Yoshi's Island)
Bad game because it stars Yoshi
1:0812:00 am-1:09 am
  • Avoided coins by instinct.

  • Super Mario World 2 "doesn't feel like a Mario game, that's for sure."

  • "I should probably play Yoshi's Island before playing kaizo."

  • Keeps dying rather than ditching Yoshi. The Failstream I knew is dead.

  • Complains that a jump in a kaizo hack is hard.

  • Complains that enemies move.

  • Argues that splits being out of order "doesn't matter".

  • Has the ability to flutter jump. Still misses landing on enemies.

  • Fail adds "aiming" to the long list of things he's "so bad at".

  • Thought "fire was infinite". Because that's how fire normally works?

  • Complains that the art is the reason he keeps falling off edges.

Defender
--
Bubsy 3D
0:301:15 am-1:45 am
  • Jumping moves the camera so you can see what you're landing on. Fail complains.

  • Enemies don't move. Fail complains.

  • Game gives voiced audio feedback. Fail complains.

  • Game lets you turn without moving. Fail complains.

  • Enemies are abstract art. Fail complains.

  • Game uses an open world concept for each level. Fail complains.

  • Game reuses death animation to save disk space. Fail complains.

  • Game's storyline, like so much art, is left up to interpretation. Fail complains.

  • Game quotes one of Fail's favorite movies. Fail complains.

  • Game lets you wonder whether something is good or evil rather than jamming it down your throat. Fail complains.

Super Alfred Chicken
0:241:46 am-2:11 am
  • 2D games just look like trash after Bubsy 3D.

  • Fail can't figure out why a chicken would collect diamonds. Diamonds are valuable, Fail.

  • Fail suggests chicken should collect eggs. Just like people collect babies.

  • Used a continue on first level.

Façade
0:532:19 am-3:13 am
  • Hating on Trip before even meeting him.

  • I've never seen antagonism used for couple's counseling before.

  • Fail talks to chat, rather than to the game. Ur doin it wrong.

  • Fail lost in 5 minutes.

  • "Okay this time don't kiss Grace right in front of her husband three times." --@flips_bad in what should have not needed saying

  • Fail left without even saying hi.

  • Trip flirts with Amy from the get-go.

  • Fail can't let go of the phone.

  • Trip's proposal seems awfully bland.

  • Grace flat out ignores Fail's attempt to kiss her.

  • Confirmed: Fail is the worst friend.

  • Fail made the most progress by using the 8-ball's answers.

  • Fail broke the game. Softlocked.
    Technically they didn't get divorced. Take the w!

TRrBL
0:223:13 am-3:35 am
  • Clearly the spiritual successor to The Witness.

  • Game put everyone, chat and Fail, to sleep.

Roguelight
0:3512:37 am-1:13 am
  • Killed himself so he could go shopping.

  • Thinks that "arrows are key". No, the Goomba is key.

  • Killed a guy simply because he was in line of sight.

  • Goes spelunking; complains that there's no light.

  • Killed by flying bone demon.

  • Completely ignores the laterns.

  • "I guess skulls don't count as lanterns." Do they normally?

  • "Not today skullman!" Two seconds later: "I guess I got killed by spikes."

  • The game gave you spikes, Fail. Please be grateful.

English Country Tune
0:361:13 am-1:49 am
  • "Z makes you rewind time." Z will be the most used button.

  • "Whales are just giant frickin' things that go in all directions."

  • Confirmed: Fail is not an advanced whale.

Crank
0:501:49 am-2:40 am
  • Less of a game, more of an interactive story. Or, well, not so much that either.

  • Confused by repairing the CPU requiring 10 scrap metal. The log says it requires scrap metal.

  • Complains that materializing scrap metal from nothing "takes a long time".

  • Somehow still more entertaining than Bubsy, E.T., and The Three Stooges. Combined.

  • Crank is the new The Witness in terms of going over the time limit.

  • Has abandoned a promising career as a Mario player in favor of finishing Crank.

  • Feels that a CrankBot should be able to function without batteries.

  • Warspyking is anti-Crank for some reason. He really wants to see Superman 64.

  • There's a save button. "Let's see if it actually saves."

Superman 64
0:302:40 am-3:11 am
  • Superman 64. I guess this is a good time for me to farm bits.

  • "No controller pak, game cannot be saved."

  • Superman has been drinking.

  • Lex won.

  • This game is making me just as motion sick as Bubsy 3D

  • We've found a game worse than Donkey Kong 64.

Bonus games (if there is time)
fort neight
--
Super Donkey Kong 64
--
Drunken Wrestlers 2
2
0:383:11 am-3:49 am
  • dx_over_dt joined the queue. Then thought better of it.

  • Why are the wrestlers boxing?

  • Fail complains that Ender hit him when he wasn't ready.

  • Fail, like a coward, used a vacuum cleaner to kill an innocent spider sitting on the corner of his monitor.

  • Battle QWOP.

  • Losing an arm is fatal damage. Losing a head, ehh?

  • Fail can't tell if he's pressing buttons or not.

Egg is Broken. Heart is Too.
1:144:45 am-5:59 am
  • Egg juggling by a chicken.

  • Chickens aren't good at carrying giant eggs on their backs.

  • Dropping the egg got old, so Fail turned himself into fried chicken.

  • Game has checkpoints. Fail needs them.

  • Fail paid money for this.

  • Fail is disproportionately proud of his "skill".

  • 123 eggs broken. 123 hearts broken.

Cartoony Cars 2
0:385:59 am-6:38 am
  • Polybridge without physics.

  • More like Angry Birds with bridges.

  • You have to die to kill the boss. "That's freakin' hilarious." Fail thinks the ultimate sacrifice is "hilarious".

The Jackbox Party Pack
8
0:306:38 am-7:09 am
  • EnderOfGames suggested that we might not play Quiplash.

Super Amazing Wagon Adventure
--
Crank
while eating
0:553:49 am-4:45 am
  • The crank charges batteries. The batteries power CrankBots. The CrankBots crank the crank. Violation of conservation of energy.

  • CrankBots are dying!

Stream notes:

  • Started off the Failstravaganza with RIP stream

  • Called stream early. Going to pick back up tomorrow at 5pm PDT.