The rules of !attack are simple. You type !attack <username> [cheer<n>] in the #attack chat channel (or the main channel if you are cheering), a couple 100-sided dice are rolled, some complicated math / interpretive dance happens behind the scenes, there's a formal vote taken in the British Parliament as to who won, most of that is ignored, and the bot responds with the results. These results are highly skill dependent. In particular, how close to a caress your touch is when pressing the c key and how well timed your k is after that caress have the greatest impact on your odds of winning.

In order to !attack, both you and the person you are attacking must have at least one non-deleted message in the past five minutes. After you attack, there is a 5-minute cooldown before you can !attack again. The person you !attack, whether or not they actually get timed out, also has a 5-minute period in which they cannot be !attacked. You can get around both of these cooldowns with bribery.

Fight Outcomes

Assuming you're up against someone with equal keyboarding skill, these are the odds of each outcome.

OddsResultAttacker score changeDefender score change
36%Loss: attacker is timed out for 10 seconds-3 - # messages deleted / 2+5
9%Heavy loss: attacker is timed out for 20 seconds-5 - # messages deleted / 2+10
3%Critical loss: attacker is timed out for 60 seconds-15 - # messages deleted / 2+30
7%Draw: Both attacker and defender are timed out for 1 second# defender's messages deleted / 2# attacker's messages deleted / 2
33%Win: defender is timed out for 10 seconds3 + # messages deleted / 2-3
9%Heavy win: defender is timed out for 20 seconds5 + # messages deleted / 10-7
3%Critical win: defender is timed out for 60 seconds15 + # messages deleted / 10-20
100%(Suicide) Timed out for between 10-120 seconds-seconds timed out / 5

"But dx," you might be asking, "that would mean that you are more likely to lose than win when !attacking. Why should I attack?" Well, my friend, like the lottery, you gotta play to win.

You'll also note there is an advantage for attacking people who are most active in chat.

Special Outcomes

There are some rare events that affect the whole chat.

OddsResultAttacker score changeDefender score change
0.2%Bloodbath (clear chat)+20 + messages deleted / 3+10
1%Things get weird (emote only for 30 seconds)+20+10
0.2%Everyone's lives flash before their eyes (slow mode for 30 seconds)+20+10
0.2%Plebs join the fray (sub-only for 30 seconds)+20+10
3%The medics go on strike (invincibility frames and cooldowns reset)+20+10
Bribery is Encouraged

You can bribe EnderofGames by attacking with a cheer of 50 or more! Cheering will allow you to ignore invicibility frames as well as your own cooldown. While most !attacks can only occur in the #attack channel, cheers can only occur in main chat, so !attacks with bribes happen there.

Every 100 bits earns you a 3% advantage on your roll, up to 1000 bits or 30%. Beware, while you can gain a substantial advantage, if you lose, you get timed out even longer.

Most importantly, it helps support our favorite streamer! That's right, Freakin_HA! Go give him a follow at https://twitch.tv/freakin_ha.

Our Dear Friend, Todesrolle

Todesrolle loves !attack, maybe a little too much. So, he's been integrated into the game itself! . With every attack, there's a 0.3% chance that Todes gets banned for 30-90 seconds. If you !attack yourself, there's a 5% chance Todes gets banned for 30-90 seconds. If that isn't reward enough, in and of itself, there's also a hefty bonus to your score if Todes gets sniped. First, you get credit for all of his messages that were deleted (when not committing sudoku). Second, you gain between 6 and 18 points depending on how long Todes is banned for. Those values are increased to 60-180 points if you snipe him with a suicide.

FAQs
How are messages counted?

The server keeps track of the last 200 messages sent in the previous 5 minutes.

Why is Todesrolle targeted?

Have you met him?

Do any other people have special privileges?

Why yes, they do!

What are the messages when you attack a mod from?

Ye olde EverQuest.